My Republican Cat

I've had a few animals in my lifetime, but none have endeared themselves to me like Streak, the farm cat. Now, I had planned on entitling this post "My Democat." (cute, huh?) But as I think about it, that feline is a Republican.

How do I know?

1. My cat is pro-life. I understand the attention given families with 10 plus children. That's a lot of kids. Streak's offspring now number near ninety, and if the three males hiding in my barn have anything to do with it, Streak will top 100 by September. And those males are scoundrels–disappearing quickly when Streak starts to show. Does Streak give a thought to ending the pregnancy? Nope.

2. My cat would approve of increased military spending. She spends countless hours roaming the landscape capturing pests and rodents. You could argue that she is merely hunting for food, and you'd be right. But her mice-battles across the acres prevent us from having mice in our house. (Okay, so maybe she's not a Ron Paul Republican.)

3. My cat is anti-entitlement. She does not wait for Big Government (I am over six feet) to care for her needs. She doesn't even seem to recognize my authority.

4. She cares much more about liberty than she does about equality. My dog is an indoor dog. He is fed well, kept warm, pampered, stroked, in other words, that dog is rich. My cat receives none of those creature comforts. It is completely unfair.  Yet in summer, when my dog comes out to play, she holds no grudges and they are the best of friends. Imagine that. A poor cat not getting upset at a rich CEO dog.

5. My cat is clueless about border security. A quick listen to any Republican debate reveals this must be a Republican universal. Streak shows no respect for our farmer neighbor's property lines. She has even given birth over there and smuggled the kitties over here, leaving us confused about proper citizenship.

6. My cat displays exceptionalism. She may roam all over the countryside, but she always returns. Yes, we are unique and special, to her, the best place on earth. France and Sweden and Switzerland may be wonderful places to visit, but Europe's got nothing on us. She likes American soil. Friesen land.

Undoubtedly, my cat also has many fine Democratic qualities, but with the Iowa caucuses fresh in my mind, and sleep calling me, I find myself thinking conservative thoughts. Good-night! 

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